CiN CiN

moving house....

2010-06-17T16:27:00.002+08:00

i have shifted !!! finally i gave up on blogger. . too lack. . yupp thats my new home ! but i shall leave this blog as it is coz the theme is super nice !!! thanks to JIE MIN !

http://cinlee-wan.tumblr.com/

2010-06-17T00:03:00.002+08:00

dreams ? are dreams considered too far from reality ? but if dreams are too far, then what is fantasy ?

2010-05-20T21:44:00.002+08:00

when i take a step back, you all took 3 steps forward. when i take 3 steps back, you all take 6 steps forward. i've got not more space to move. im at the maximum already. behind me is a wall. no more steps that i can take. i've got only one choice, to turn ard and bang. . im really up to my neck. . why wont you all let me off ?

the last lap

2010-05-15T20:05:00.001+08:00

going on full speed for the last run. . hope that i wont collapse halfway. . but im aldy so tired, so worn out. . so...... i'll hang tough. . hope i can endure. .

2010-05-09T20:41:00.002+08:00

im beginning to doubt. i guess it impossible. you can NEVER be.

2010-04-27T22:27:00.001+08:00

guess im thinking too much. . reading too much into it. . i guess its only a game. . we are all out to play. . what to expect ? seriousness ? hahs ! its such a joke ! i doubt it ever appeared in our vocab. . oh well~

2010-04-19T21:42:00.003+08:00

my dear friend,

please do not get stress over this. . don't be so silly k ? don't feel guilty luh. . i believe our friendship is stronger than this. . a lot stronger. . and it will be able to withstand this obstacle. . it has gone through so many tests. . our assignments, shopping together, gossiping etc etc. . so what is this ? its going to be a small small thing only. . maybe like the wind passing by. . and i really don't like him. . just eye candy. . sometimes when life gets bored, its this eye candy that motivate me. . thats all. . like what some asshole says, i don't even know him, how to like ?

furthermore, 爱情不能让，也让不了. . so if he is your fate, let it happen. . seriously. . i think he not bad mah. . tall enough, cool enough, muscular enough. . hahs ! okays shall not disturb you further. . but pls stop worry k ? dun let it affect us =)

2010-04-13T19:07:00.004+08:00

was transferring pics from my old phone to new and came upon these. . hahs ! nice right !

what a heavy rain ! was half drenched BUT something good came out of it. . something good =) thats my rainbow after a heavy rain =) it ends my day with a great big smile ! =)

='(

2010-04-05T23:12:00.005+08:00

life hasn't been good. first it was you. when i finally convinced myself that i shouldn't give in to this friendship anymore, yet another upsetting event happen. seriously, if you really bother, you should have gather your courage to tell me. what's with the hiding ? do you know how it feels like to have some other person telling you what has happen ? you didn't make the effort to explain ! or the effort to tell me ! i don't need the explanation ! i just want to hear it from your mouth ! or at least a simple sms will do ! is it so difficult ? so many years of friendship and this is the outcome ?

have anyone out there have true friends ? true as in really true true. the one always there for you 24/7. no complaints, no ill intentions, no expectations. i guess its hard ? maybe we should all touch our hearts and ask ourselves ? is there even one ? for me, yes. there is one. always there for me. always. i want to thank that friend for listening, lending me shoulders, going all out for me.

2010-03-25T20:16:00.003+08:00

yes it's my fault, i busybody. i shouldnt have volunteered. mayb i shouldnt have even bother to volunteer ! bcoz after all, im only borrowing a place to stay in your house ! so no matter which corner i go to, i should be satisfied ! this to me is no longer a home, it has become a house. i rmb this story of a man taking pity on this small refugee boy, thus offering him a sweet and a word of pity. this is what he said, "so sorry that you have lost your home." but the boy replies, "i didnt lose my home, i merely lose a house to put my home in it."

this is how one defines home and i seriously think my home no longer fits this definition. it is just a place that feeds me and give me shelter. nothing more than that. and the common thing these people in this "home" have with me are just the same blood flowing in our body. and the same surname. nothing else. .

and i guess i only can be satisfied. at least i dun have to live in fear. i dun have to worry about people killing me. i am not threaten in anyway. yes, mayb if i forever just think like these, i can pull it thru.

cinlee's conclusion about vulgarities...

2010-03-24T23:42:00.002+08:00

in secondary school, you learn all of it but use it minimally.
in poly, you stop learning but use it fully.
finally in army, you stop learning, use it fully and get scolded by it totally !
LOLS ! super randoms ! till then !

my bro's ROM (100310)

2010-03-10T23:32:00.004+08:00

today was a hectic day ! well i shall not comment further ! those pics were the dinner after the ROM. . does it make you hungry ? hahs ! the food was not too bad. . but the servings is too much ! damn damn full man ! their banquet will most probably be in dec. . gonna get busy busy busy ! for more pics, go to my facebook and find ! i've uploaded all the pics ! woots ! nights !

tuesday...

2010-03-09T23:59:00.002+08:00

yupps today i woke up at 445 am for some kuku ! wahlao ! and and that kuku's fren waste my effort ! after i wake up so damn early and wish him luck, he(kuku's fren) still failed ! hais ! kuku's fren waste my effort ! then sleep back and woke up at 930, suppose to accompany my mom but she disappear ! so sleep back agn till 12 plus. . followed my mom to find clothes and didnt buy in the end. . then mit up with susana and shop ! spend alot ! my bro's ROM gifts, movie ticket and all other stuffs. . broke broke broke !

dear john is quite slow moving but overall i think its okay. . not exactly very very good but quite meaningful towards the part about time. . yupp, be it 2 weeks or 2 months, time will pass. . and i believe love over rides everything. . time, distance etc etc. . love wins, love always win =)

it's a monday...

2010-03-08T22:31:00.002+08:00

woots ~ spend the whole day slacking at home ! didnt do much either. . wanted to watch red cliff but i spent the whole afternoon searching for a song AND I DIDNT FIND IT ! shits ! didnt manage to fb much too =( planning to chiong all my fb games but ....... oh well, i still have another 3 weeks ! tml im going out with susana !!! woots ! going to catch dear john ! woohoo ! planning to catch 3 movies during this holiday, dear john, being human and happy go lucky ! but i need to work too ! damn broke ! grr !!! well. . really need to start saving. . broke broke broke.....

2 days left !

holidayssssss............

2010-03-08T00:38:00.002+08:00

okays i wanted to post this ytd but i just didnt feel like sitting in front of my lappy. . anyways im having holidaysss ! like finally !!! but im so not interested to see my results =( marketing sure gone case ! =( damn sad man ! wahlao ! hais ! i got A for marketing CA but exams..... hais... hmm... hopefully the markers can give me credit for bullshitting and cock talking ? *praying* back to main point. . now that exams are over, hopefully i can watch all the movies i have in my lappy, watch all the dramas i wanted to, and train my stamina ? hahs ! oh ya ! and i aim to update this dead blog for at least once a day ! woots ! okays actually this is gonna be a long post bcoz thr is really so much going on in my life ! i mean so much changes ! well, i shall post everything one by one. .

firstly, as said above, things i wana do. .

secondly, okays this is sth i have mixed feeling about. . okays im kinda excited about my bro's wedding nxt wed BUT im oso a bit upset. . for those who knows what happen you know lah arh. . at first chased out, next kinda kena push to be the bad person, thn no money to continue studying after DMS so yeah. . quite pissed off !!! for those who do not know, yupps, my brother is officially getting married, nxt wed, 10 march 2010. . okays not official official but going for ROM. . quite excited about it, coz i HAVE NEVER been to such events ! so COOL right !? hahs ! anyways be sure to catch those photos nxt week ! hahs ! i shall upload on my fb ! woots ! yupp im kinda like the "camera women". . hahs !

lastly, its about my future again. . i was thinking, since i dun have the money as said from my dad, then i should start working after i graduate and save up. and since im the one saving up and paying for my own studies, i really wan to go overseas !!! but will i be that brave and independent ? looking at vanessa leaving, im really really really _____ . i reflected and realise i not very sure about leaving. . thr is sth that is pulling me back. . sth about me that im scared. . i lack the determination, the courage and everything else. . it just came to me that its really not easy. . but i really wan to be independent, to be able to go out thr to see the world alone, to face every obstacle that is coming my way alone. . i have been too reliant, relying on my mom and my brother. . lotsa simple things regarding my CPF, my education, my application to schools after O lvl, registering to marathon etc etc, i depend on my brother. . and my everyday life includes my mom. . i really cant do without her. . BUT I NEED TO BREAK AWAY FROM THESE ! can i ? *doubting*

2010-01-22T23:07:00.004+08:00

hmm. . life have been hectic. . im so darn tired everyday ! like so......... hais ! anyways today i chatted with susana about the future. . im gonna be 19 soon...... and i really duno what im gonna do. . i got no plans, confused about my ambition, so unsure about my future career ! i wana do sth i like but i really got no support. . even my closest fren (not susana) said that i shouldnt sign on. . i prefer being a student, just following thru the motion of life. . dun hv to make any major decisions etc etc. . I WANA GO BACK TO MY SECONDARY SCHOOL LIFE ! but time will only move forward and not backward. . i wana look into my future ! mayb thru a crystal ball ? like in cartoons or fairy tale ? look for a witch or wizard that has a magical crystal ball that tells the future ! but it might not be good too. . once you know your future, you might wan to change it and even if you accept them, nothing will be a surprise for you ! all will be so meaningless ! but then again, at least you know whr your life is heading ? hmm........ all i can do is to take one step at a time =(

2010-01-19T20:59:00.003+08:00

super super tired ! but it was worth it =)
the formation is finally out but still not completed. . somehow they learn fast BUT they gotta start polishing their moves ! well well well =D
anyways individual assignment all done ! whats left is grp project and it sucks ! i simply hate grp projects ! coz its really taxing. . im dead ! i really gotta let go. . somehow, between the 2 i gotta choose one. . actually i've made my choice but i just cnt bear to. . gotta keep reminding myself, my aim is 3 Bs for this sem and all the following sem. . i gotta put it down for the time being man ! seriously seriously. . really hope to survive thru my projects once again. . and then i cn start on revision ! i need a time table ! arghhh !!! oh well shall plan it SOON !

2010-01-13T22:21:00.002+08:00

so long nv post liaoz. . well life has been the same. . went korea in dec, came back on 1st jan, skl started on 4th jan. skl will be as busy as ever plus all other commitment i have. . dun even dare to think abt the days ahead. . sians... life has been terrible because of the the emotional stuff im going thru and i really cnt find a place to vent it all out. . well well well... but everyday when i wake up, i just forget all abt it. . dont know how long i cn stand. . someday i will burst, just like whn you blow too much air into a balloon, it will eventually burst. . anyways sth i just dun get it.......

volunteering :

To do charitable or helpful work without pay. .

is it that i misunderstand this ? or izit that pple forget the meaning of volunteering ? whats with all these lil fights and quarrels ? arent we suppose to help one another ? to tide things over ? to give help together as one ? im lost, i need directions, clear directions, i need to know the purpose. . as time passes by, i seem to lose everything, all the aims and goals and everything ! whats left ? i duno. . izit that the pple ard me are changing ? or izit me that is changing ? or mayb im left alone while everyone changes together ? struggling to survive.........

2009-12-23T22:29:00.002+08:00

fuck off !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
im gg to KL soon to enjoy yet you are torturing me !
what exactly do you wan from me ?
are you only happy if you see me dead ?
get a life !!!
just fucking get out !!!
stop bullshitting me !
things have CHANGED !
you've CHANGED !
i've CHANGED !
FACE IT !
you made me feel worthless so get out !
stop putting me down !
like my smiles ?
pain in your heart ?
CRAP ! CRAP !! CRAP !!!
you bring me nothing BUT tears !
how m i like suppose to smile ever agn !?

outing with boys !

2009-12-23T00:46:00.005+08:00

emo derek !

crabby and me !

gateway to heaven !

empty capsule lah ! the person refuse to let us have our own capsule !

that slanted building ! still rmb our hong kong joke ?

this looks like some place in johor !

sexy building !

this is a super cool letter !

dun_ever_wana_think_abt_it_day

2009-12-20T22:35:00.002+08:00

freaked out totally. for that few seconds, or even mins my mind went blank. i dont rmb what happen exactly. i cnt rmb. its the wonderful work of my brain. selective memory.

feeling : totally disgusted. gross out.

mistake : told the wrong person. limited care and concern. that person didnt even bother. but well i finally know what kind of person is that person. regretted telling that person.

hoping : to sleep thru the night and forget abt the whole incident.

annual camp ~

2009-11-25T15:56:00.013+08:00

block them ! hahs !

stop disturbing luh !

guess why she stand so far ? got LIZARD !

this pose is rather familiar...

it was suppose to be a JUMP SHOT !

the jacket gang !

in our bunk... look at jia min face !

hahs ! super late post ! anyways, happen to see these on mards blog so i decide to grab them and post it as well ! though i was really very down at the camp but these pple really cheered me up ! thanks my frens ! love you all !

2009-11-22T21:25:00.004+08:00

went to watch 2012 ytd... the show is okays, dun really like the story line because i believe, if the world is really coming to an end, nobody cn be saved. yes, thr might be pple that survive but from the show, the pple saved is because they got the money to buy the green pass and board the ship ! if the world is coming to an end, MONEY still cn saved us ? thats pretty bullshit... and those pple who were granted the passes, its because they are SELECTED. and how are they selected ? its because they are the "talented" pple. and the definiton of "talented" is how the world sees them. how the world defines them as talented. the end of the world is the works of mother nature, so do you think humans have the right to decide all these ? do you think money cn decide all these ? to me, its not logical... hmm... throughout the whole show, this question keeps coming to my mind, when faced with death, how do we deal with it ? as in our own death, are we afraid to die ? or we will just faced it ? do nothing to fight back ?

went for RCIY this morning, the session was on holy matrimony and holy order. just nice, i attended a church wedding ytd's morning. i rmb the priest saying a story, it was something like a man who is almost perfect was looking for a wife. in the end, he found his perfect woman but yet couldnt get her because his perfect woman was also looking for his perfect husband. so apparently, he wasnt perfect in her eyes... this reminds me of sth, it was all these little imperfections that made life perfect. so i guess all we have to do is to be satisfied and stop trying to find perfection in life. thr is no definite definition of perfection. and this morning's session, we talk abt it agn, and something caught my attention... a wedding is a day, a marriage is a lifetime... this is very interesting. pple always ask, what is your ideal wedding ? on the beach ? in the garden ? in the church ? but very few pple actually ask, what is your ideal marriage ? and i think this is alot more important that your ideal wedding. wedding is only a day but marriage determines your lifetime. after marriage, a women must listen to his husband but a husband must die for his wife. hahs ! woman gets the better deal, all we have to do is to listen but a man must die for the wife. thats how much a husband should love his wife, just like how christ loves his church. how many can actually do these ? its hard i guess, man are selfish. or mayb i should say humans are selfish. woman nowadays wont listen to their husband and husband dying for their wife ? its kinda impossible...

oh well, just some random thoughts...

flooded~

2009-11-20T00:04:00.002+08:00

well... was caught in flood for the first time in my life ! hahs ! but i was stuck in bus only luh... stuck at somewhr near the sixth avenue on my way to skl... super shit man ! hahs ! here is how it goes :

1.30 pm : i board 852

1.40 pm : was at beauty world and the rain was super big. the images thru the windows were totally blur ! thn at the turn into dunearn rd, it all started... the big drain that divides the 2 lanes (to and fro) was overflowing ! free flow of water man ! water gushing in one direction and i think anyone that fell into the drain will sure be washed away ! the scene was super scary ! it was flooding a little at that point. so the bus driver keeps going on and on. until finally the flood rises to a very high level. and all the vehicles in front stop so i guess the driver got no choice but to stop as well.. hahs ! i think the driver will carry on driving if thr wasnt any vehicles blocking him man ! hahs ! he super chiong kind ! the water level rises till it totally cover the wheels of a taxi ! (thr was this cab in front of my bus) the water level reached the car plate number ! so i got stuck in the bus and it was freezing ! then thr was this lady that wanted to get off the bus. so the driver open the door and let her out. when she step on the ground, the water lvl reach her knee cap ! that was how bad the flood was !

3.15 pm : finally reach my skl bustop ! waited for my fren for awhile then head down to skl !

overall, it was pretty fun to see such things. like once in a lifetime ? hahs ! oh ya ! thr was this accident too ! this blue car got stuck in the drain and the scdf had to come and rescue ! but no casualties ! and the greatest thing is SOMEONE ACTUALLY ABANDON HIS BMW ! it was in the middle of a cross junction man ! haiyo ! but its BMW ! well thats all for today ! =)

new song

2009-11-17T00:42:00.002+08:00

"Fall For You"

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed
But I have loved you from the start
Oh

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It's impossible

So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I'm yours to keep
And hold onto your words
Cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When your asleep

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

2009-11-14T18:54:00.002+08:00

from the moment i received the msg, i forgot how to smile like i used to... its the 3rd time aldy... how do you expect me to believe you agn ? first time, i made a big fuss and we got over it... 2 nd time we almost ended but we got over it... and RMB you lLIED to me n the 2nd time ! how m i suppose to believe for the 3rd time ? yeah right, didnt send wrongly and blah blah blah ! save the explanation ! i cnt bring myself to believe agn... hurting ? i think you ENJOYED it... on one hand you are telling me of your plans, on the other you are doing this behind me... too bad... heaven doesnt help you... it gave you away... you brought me down agn.... thank you !

randomsss....

2009-11-13T21:06:00.002+08:00

i thought it was over but.... why did i suddenly dream of you agn ? hais... when i was on the way to skl today, kept thinking abt the dream... what exactly does it mean ? what message m i suppose to get ? or mayb its just me reading too much into it ? but dreams do have their meaning right ? pondered for very very long but seems to reach no conclusion. cn someone just tell me what does it mean ? making me confused all over agn....

examss stress !

2009-11-13T00:41:00.003+08:00

skl is over in a week time... and thn study break and another round of hell and torture. this sem has been the most tiring. with all the happenings in school, with friendship, with group project and EVERYTHING ! i wonder how is the nxt sem gonna be like... how many pple left in our grp ? 3... me susana hawa... wtf ! hais ! anyway its really getting too tiring for me... haven met up with jm hy and the 2 kids for long time... hvn been out with wilson jj hui yi and gang for long time... its like school school school school school everytime... totally worn out... but lesson is always made interesting with the pple ard me... LOVE EM' ALL ! 2 pics to share ! and the stories behind too !

made by alpha ! cn you believe it ? he actually made these tortoise out of his hands !

the story of su-de-rella... the story goes like this : there was this su-de-rella that took off her slipper and sat with her legs cross in class. then when she puts in her slippers, she wore the wrong side ! omg ! now here comes the question...
Q 1 ) is she stupid ?
ans : not really BUT based on these she is...
Q2) does she knows how to wear slippers properly ?
ans : i suppose so or not how come she cn put it on at home ? BUT based on these, she actually dont know...

well its all these stupid stuff that made life so fun in the school... hahahahahahahahahah ! she is so gonna killl me when she sees these !

take care my fren !

2009-11-03T22:56:00.003+08:00

hellos babe ! today is your last day and yet i didnt see you. take care yeah ? promise to keep in contact ? thanks for being such a nice fren. telling me abt roy stuff, giving me advice, eating lunch tog aft lesson, making me laugh almost everyday ! life with you is totally enjoyable ! though we didnt had a proper chance to do group work tog, but the short period of doing business stats tog was fun ! watching you tabulating, making you nervous etc etc... hahs ! must not forget me hor ! i believe you are a very strong girl ! for the fact that you manage to survive thru this sem till now ! seeing you juggle with your schoolwork (so many modules !), your work work, assignments and rushing here and thr between lesson and work meetings. all these only proves VICKY IS POWER ! if it was me, i would have drop dead long ago ! but you really gotta take care yeah ! must jiayous and earn big bucks ! hope that you cn fulfil your real dreams with all the money you make ! =) love you babe ! bye ! take care ! all the best of the best !

whatever...

2009-10-31T21:04:00.001+08:00

since it doesnt matter anymore, then i shall not bother much too...
if anyone cn make me fall in love, its not you, i guess...
your love will NOT take me home...
you wont be my hero...
im not your delilah...
And when you can't find the right words to say i dun feel it in the way

this is bad !

2009-10-29T20:55:00.002+08:00

oh fuck ! how m i suppose to present ? with a dripping nose and a scratchy throat, how to do presentation !? omg ! tml is the big day and here i am with a bad nose and itchy throat ! how i wish i could shove my whole hand into my throat now and scratch ! this is the accumulative effect. sleeping late, chatting on phone till 1 plus am then after that chiong homework, chiong assignments till wee hours and sometimes till daybreak. this is the end results. fallin sick. tml is the big day man ! die lah ! after all the hard work and effort in preparing how cn i cock up tml ? oh man ! really gotta pray hard for tml ! =) gtg ! need to continue preparing and getting ready !

new song !

2009-10-28T22:41:00.002+08:00

The Way - Clay Aiken

There's something 'bout the way you look tonight
There's something 'bout the way that
I can't take my eyes off you
There's something 'bout the way your lips invite
Maybe it's the way that
I get nervous when you're around
And I want you to be mine
And if you need a reason why...

(Chorus:)
It's in the way that you move me
And the way that you tease me
The way that I want you tonight
It's in the way that you hold me
And the way that you know me
And when I can't find the right words to say
You feel it in the way

Oh, oh
You feel it in the way

There's something 'bout how you stay on my mind
There's something 'bout the way that
I whisper your name when I'm asleep, oh girl
Maybe it's the look you get in your eyes
Oh, baby, it's the way that
It makes me feel to see you smile
And the reasons, they may change
But what I'm feeling stays the same

(Repeat chorus)

Oh, oh
You feel it in the way

(Bridge:)
I can't put my fingers on
Just what it is
That makes me love you
You know, baby
So don't ask me to describe
I get all choked up inside
Just thinking 'bout the way

(Repeat chorus)

It's in the way that you move me
And the way that you tease me
The way
You feel it in the way

There's something 'bout the way you look tonight
There's nothing more to say than
I feel it in the way

2009-10-28T21:27:00.002+08:00

finally gotten the complete set of my formal wear. went to get my blazer today. decide to wear blue shirt instead of white. look more pro in blue ! hahs ! anyway the stupid blazer cost 42 bucks ! mind im broke ! well, 42 bucks for a btr grade ? worth ? i guess so thats why i buy what... there goes my crumpler=( ! managed to save till a hundred bucks ler BUT went to buy blazer then... hais ! no choice=( gotta start saving agn... hope that by nxt sem i cn get it. hahs ! mayb ask my mom and bro to share and buy me crumpler for christmas ? idea arh ? but i dun think they will luh. think they will kill me instead. 100++ for a sling bag ? siaoz arh ! hmm... mayb i shouldnt get it too... its just material goods what... anyway long day today and i got MALIGN by some pple but yet i xin ruan agn... hais... always caught between these man ! what is right and what is wrong ? hais ! ethicals issues ! anyway i really feel that you got no right to fa pi qi cn !? AND YOU DIDNT APOLOGISE TO ME ! YOU MALIGN ME AND DIDNT SAY SORRY ! WTF !

1 more month...

2009-10-21T23:29:00.003+08:00

today is exactly 3 weeks since i started skl, and here i am fretting for exams. can you believe it ? im having exams in ard 1 ++ month time !? its like wth ! hais ! and life isnt that good for me. its has being a roller coaster ride. ups and downs but i still have to act as if like i dun care abt a shit and carry on with skl, with assignments, with exams etc etc... and great ! sem 3 starting and time to pay up ! hais ! another round of hell. wonder how long it is gonna last agn. it's really weird. foreign students in my skl seems filthy rich and doesnt seems to be financially stressed up. and yet me. the local students (except for one foreign student that i know of) is the ones with the financial burden=( mayb if i go overseas to study, i can be like the foreign students ? with no burden except to study study and study ! really miss those sec skl days man ! life was so much easier then. oh well... gtg figure out my accts aldy !

happy birthday !

2009-10-18T22:01:00.002+08:00

happy birthday ROY ! grow up yeah ! 18 liaoz ! anyway its happy belated ! but but the main point is this pic very nice ! my fren HAWA drew it ! super nice lah ! so jealous ! oh ya ! roy lim, although you are legal, you are not suppose to SMOKE DRINK AND LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY ! wakaka ! expose you to the world !

oh ! added new blog song, lyrics below,

hey there delilah
whats it like in new york city
im a thousand miles away
but girl tonight you look so pretty
yes you do
time square cant shine as bright as you
i swear its true

hey there delilah
dont you worry about the distance
im right there if you get lonely
give this song another listen
close your eyes
listen to my voice its my disguise
im by your side

oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me
what you do to me

hey there delilah
i know times are gettin hard
but just believe me girl
someday ill pay the bills with this guitar
we'll have it good
we'll have the life we knew we would
my word is good

hey there delilah
i've got so much left to say
if every simple song i wrote to you
would take your breath away
i'd write it all
even more in love with me you'd fall
we'd have it all

oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me
oh its what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This one's for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.

depressed =(

2009-10-16T00:10:00.001+08:00

screwed up ! need help with questionaire but nobody to turn to ! shit !!!!! =( can formulate any right questions to ask =(

weekends !~

2009-10-12T23:41:00.003+08:00

had a great weekend playing ! went out for movie with my classmates aft skl on sat ! we should try it agn soon !!! hahs !

as for sunday, went church in the morning then head down to celebrate JJ's birthday ! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ! hahs ! long time nv mit up with those ndp rcy pple ler ! celebrate from ps all the way to chinatown ! cool right ? hahs !

as for today, during business comm, something happen ! the stupid roy got steal one of his fren sandals ! i think her name is yvonne ? hahs ! aft he stole that shoe, he placed it on top of the table ! wahlao ! had a hard time controllling my laughter man ! below is the picture ! spot the shoe below ! hahs !

new term !

2009-10-08T19:43:00.004+08:00

dusty dusty ! hahs ! my blog had been a little quiet these days. well then i shall update a little. hmm recently, the most happening thing is that i help out in F1 (all those that know of it told me its cheap labour). well, at least i got to see backstreet boys LIVE and for FREE ! not a big fan of them but but i like some of their songs. their new album is release on oct 5th. heard them sang 3 songs from the new album and i thought it was nice ! so any fan of backstreet boys should buy ! their album should be nice ! oh ya ! and i took picture with utt ! not me alone with him though.

nothing much to say just that school has started for me. hmm... kinda having a big headache. new modules im taking are financial accounting, business comm, business stats. gosh ! cnt tahan siaz ! acct is giving me headache, had been coping well till today. i duno what the lecturer is saying. die die ! sit there for 3 hours and i come out empty. sians ! but had fun in class today. crapping with vic, susana and roy. coz we concluded that we dun understand thus we had a little fun in class. yeah ! im finally going out with my classmates this sat ! hope that it will be fun ! hahs ! shall update agn soon !

ps: susana dun emo k ? i lend you my shoulders tml !=)

outing outing !~

2009-09-14T16:49:00.005+08:00

went out on sat with hy, jm, gf and jq ! hahs ! family outing ! only person missing is my MUMMY ! wakaka ! had a great day in short !

aoh 2009 !

2009-09-08T23:15:00.006+08:00

took lotsa picturessss !!!! woohoo !!! hahs ! hope to go nxt yr !=DD

attack !!!

girl power !!!

yeah~

its really hot in there ! plus im aldy so hot that i emit so much heat ! double heat ! haiyo !

driving off ~

hahs ! this is how i will look if i sign on !

hug him coz its reall comfy !

grp pic !

super duper heavy siaz ! omg ! almost topple backwards !

me, sgt yan's wife, jm !

ah~ comfy comfy ! sleepin time ! hug him agn coz its really comfy !

all on board !~

so cool right ?

welcome !

our wishes to the army in the other countries !!!

whoo ! im tall !!!

really had a great time ! thanks to our tour guide LIM HONG YI !

2009-09-05T00:16:00.002+08:00

went to visit mards today... had lunch with jes jes before that ! wanted to celebrate her birthday ! but well, i think she knows it luh... anyway lunch was her treat... thanks dear ! then went to visit mards ! she was still ok.. cn talk cock with us.. cam-whore a bit in the hospital... was freaking bored lah ! wahlao ! if i were to stay in hospital, i still will die ! nothing to do man ! and i cnt sit or sleep still de siaz ! will sure disturb pple esp the nurses ! hahs ! played with her bed a bit. . keep moving it up down. . was fun ! hahs ! went home at ard 5 and thanks to preethi, we took 198 and went the wrong direction ! i aldy told her we seems to be wrong BUT she INSISTED its right ! wth luh ! oh well, i guess she wanted to spend more time with me lah ! hahs ! finding excuse only... anyway alot of funny things happen on the bus journey... pple tapping ezlink cards etc etc... conclusion, had a great day ! hope to mit up with them agn !!! real soon !!!

2009-08-11T22:36:00.000+08:00

sianssss !!!! suppose to have a surprise for you all BUT i cant upload pictures ! =( damn ! ah nvm ! i shall go do my work then =) anyway happy belated birthday to singapore !!! hahs !

treasure the people ard you...

2009-08-03T00:23:00.000+08:00

Around the corner I have a friend,
In this great city that has no end,
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone.
And I never see my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,
He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell.
And he rang mine but we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.

Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.
'Tomorrow' I say! 'I will call on them
Just to show that I'm thinking of them.'
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows.
Around the corner, yet miles away,
'Here's a telegram sir, john died today.'
And that's what we get and deserve in the end.
Around the corner, a vanished friend.

Remember to always say what you mean.
If you love someone, tell them.
Don't be afraid to express yourself.
Reach out and tell someone what they mean to you.
Because when you decide that it is the right time it might be too late.
Seize the day. Never have regrets.
And most importantly, stay close to your friends and family,
for they have helped make you the person that you are today.

2009-07-29T20:39:00.000+08:00

well, life is always full of ups and downs. i wont exactly say that my life now is totally down, but i think its been hectic. physically and mentally tired i guess. but the world doesnt revolve ard me ALONE ! so nothing will stop because im tired. lesson still goes on... life still goes on... i really cant catch up for maths ! damn ! deadline of assignments seems to be only a few days away from each other... 6 assignments, 2 handed up, 4 more to go BUT i only got 2 weeks left for 4 assignments ! this fri need to hand up individual english assignment, nxt monday individual maths assignment, nxt fri group english assignment, then nxt thurs MPO group assignment. double sians ! and guess what ! i got lesson on AUGUST 8 ! national day eve leh ! wahlao ! triple sians ! well, what to do ?

most of my saturdays are burned up because of ndp but i guess that is the only day in the week i look forward to and the only day i cn truly enjoy but all good things come to an end i guess... 1 more preview left to actual... ndp has brought me alot of frens. frens that laugh with me, share my woes, my sorrow, share gossips etc etc...(LOLs!) they are the pple that bring sunshine to my life, and always are my light of hope, standing by me near and far. lending me their shoulders when i need to cry, they are really part of my life, and will forever be in my heart. hope that we cn really really maintain this friendship. really wish that all of us will forever remain as bestie ! going out often and spending every possible minute tog ! though one fren might be going overseas soon, but the friendship must be maintain ! time will fly past so fast that he will be back in singapore to join us soon ! best wishes to him !=) i really pray that the bond will nv be broken because pple change as time past. i've had the experience before... from besties to normal frens and to not so close and totally dun talk... and when something happens to them, i regret... the feeling really sucks lah ! anyway enough abt these stuffs ! gtg do assignments aldy ! update agn soon !

FACING CHALLENGES AND STAYING MOTIVATED !=)

2009-07-28T15:48:00.000+08:00

phew ! its getting a little dusty and quiet here. . wanted to update my blog BUT blogger always got problems ! sians ! finally i can share these with you ! something very interesting though its abit lengthy... BUT its worth the time ! so take a look !

The Japanese have always loved fresh fish. But the waters close to Japan have not held many fish for decades.
So to feed the Japanese population, fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever. The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring in the fish. If the return trip took more than a few days, the fish were not fresh.

The Japanese did not like the taste.

To solve this problem, fishing companies installed freezers on their boats. They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea. Freezers allowed the boats to go farther and stay longer. However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozen and they did not like frozen fish.

The frozen fish brought a lower price. So fishing companies installed fish tanks. They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks. After a little thrashing around, the fish stopped moving. They were tired and dull, but alive. Unfortunately, the Japanese could still taste the difference. Because the fish did not move for days, they lost their fresh-fish taste.
The Japanese preferred the lively taste of fresh fish, not sluggish fish.

So how did Japanese fishing companies solve this problem?

How do they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan?

If you were consulting the fish industry, what would you recommend?
How did the Japanese fish stay fresh?

To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put the fish in the tanks. But now they add a small shark to each tank. The shark eats a few fish, but most of the fish arrive in a very lively state. The fish are challenged.

Have you realized that some of us are also living in a pond but most of the time tired & dull, so we need a Shark in our life to keep us awake and moving?

Basically in our lives Sharks are new challenges to keep us active and taste better. The more intelligent, persistent and competent you are, the more you enjoy a challenge.

If your challenges are the correct size, and if you are steadily conquering those challenges, you are Conqueror.

You think of your challenges and get energized. You are excited to try new solutions. You have fun. You are alive!

Recommendations for us:

1. Instead of avoiding challenges, jump into them. Beat the heck out of them. Enjoy the game. If your challenges are too large or too numerous, do not give up. Failing makes you tired. Instead, reorganize. Find more determination, more knowledge, more help.

2. God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but he did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears and light for the way.

3. Disappointments are like road bumps, they slow you down a bit but you enjoy the smooth road afterwards. Dont stay on the bumps too long. Move on..!!

4. When you feel down because you didn't get what you want, just sit tight and be happy, because God has thought of something better to give you. When something happens to you, good or bad, consider what it means. There's a purpose to life's events, to teach you how to laugh more or not to cry too hard.

5. No one can go back and make a brand new start. But anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

skl started

2009-07-08T21:54:00.000+08:00

just to update a little, i have started skl on monday. skl is okays but can feel a little pressure coz i dont understand some of the maths questions but well, i have asked my brother ! =) anyway thats not the main point of this post. hmm i chose to blog today coz something happen ! LOLs ! i met this super cute fren who lost her way to skl, not on the first day or the second day BUT the THIRD day ! super kuku lor ! well, she didnt exactly lost her way but missed the stop. but one interesting thing is that she didnt miss by ONE stop but THREE or FOUR ! apparently, it took her 3 or 4 stops to realise she missed her stop. and and she went to the opposite side to take the bus back and guess what ? she alighted 2 stops earlier ! and she walked all the way to skl ! hmm i think she is only 5 mins late. super funny man ! no wonder pple keep saying she is a "LU CHI". anyway, i have watch transformers !!!!!!!!!! the song is super nice ! hahs ! its getting late... i gtg ! bye !

singapore FLYERSSS !!!

2009-06-25T14:56:00.000+08:00

went to take the flyer ytd !!! super cool !!! but i think if i were to pay the adult price ($29++) its not worth lah... hahs ! now got promotion for students ! simply present your ez-link card at get your tickets for just $10 ! so i guess its still quite worth ! so now i shall hand over the mic to the picturessss

hui yi me jia min jun wei (left to right)

sunday's mass

2009-06-23T15:18:00.000+08:00

phew ! it's kinda dusty here... haven been updating. actually i cnt figure out what im busy with ! it's just that i don't even have the time to go online ! hahs ! everyday is just filled with something ! anyway i shall update about 2 events. first being the ndp last trg, second being the confirmation mass i attended.

well, the last trg was a great experience. Nicky sir let all the 10/09s run the show ourselves. and i think xiao li definitely deserves the greatest applause ! i was doing F&B that day. pretty slack as the only time i nid to run ard is when we reach nee soon camp and we have to go collect the food. but i help out with alot of logs stuff too. like packing the shoe bag and doing glucose water etc etc. i realize that logs is not as simple as it is. all the things you pack and all the items that we bring there must be accounted for and the quantity we bring over must be logical. not too much but yet not too little. actually the thing i worry most was the food. i must ensure that the SAF gave us the correct amt and stuff. hahs ! so overall, it had been a super tiring day ! AND the party we had aft that trg was great ! the pictures we took, the video weilin ma'am took. OMG ! hahs ! it shall stay within the 4 walls ! BUT ! it was really freaking funny ! laugh till i got no more energy left !

now about the confirmation mass. i saw crystal !!! in white ! LOL ! okays obviously i will see her, she is getting confirmed. anyway what i wan to talk about is the story that the archbishop shared with us. the story is about a man who goes to the holy man and said that he wants to be with God. he wanted to experience the holy spirit. everyday he will go to the holy man, asking him how can he attained that. finally one day, the holy man brought him to a pool of water. the man was very happy as he tot that the holy man was going to baptise him, just like the way john baptise jesus. but when the holy man push his head into the water,he didnt let go. the man started struggling and struggling. after much of struggling, the holy man let go. the man came up immediately. the holy man then says, what was you thinking when i held your head under the water ? the man replied, i will give up everything just for one breath of air. this story is saying that to be filled with the holy spirit and to be with God, you must give up everything and give your whole self to God. only then the holy spirit can enter fully.

pictures from the previous posts...

2009-06-10T23:49:00.000+08:00

me full of cream !=(

okay, dun ask me why they took so many pics of kinda joy

the 7 kinda JOY represents the 7 pple present on that day !

cut cake time !

guess what i was doing ?

I AM ACTUALLY USING CHOPSTICKS TO "BLOW OUT" THE CANDLES !

first attempt to blow...

making a wish....

its my 18th birthday !

2009-06-05T23:25:00.001+08:00

hahs ! had the worst birthday ever ! and and it's at YANGZHE pri skl ! yeah, the mini party and surprise was done by joanne, ng jun jie, celeste, jia min, hui yi and wei yang. a big THANK YOU to you !!! i was indeed very very surprise ! coz its like 3rd june nia. not yet my bdae. furthermore they keep discussing about saturday's plan so i wasnt expecting anything. good one arh ! i will have my revenge soon. hehe ! anyway i think i got 6th sense=) hahs ! coz when jj stand behind me and wanted to smash a cake on my face, i manage to sense it and whack that plate off ! hahs ! but i ran and somehow my mind went blank and suddenly forgot how to open the stupid door !!! DAMN ! so yeah, managed to dodge it once but not twice... got cheese and cream "facial" by joanne and jun jie. wahlao ! damn stinky lor ! had a hard time washing it off ! and the worse was the disgusting cream actually got onto my hair !!!! hahs ! then someone ask me, your hair got smoother ? got free conditioning leh ! LOL ! thanks arh !!!! LOL !!! okay lah but its nice anyway... first time in my 18 yrs that i got so badly bully lor ! usually is i do it on pple ! heh !

i really appreciate what you all do for me=) im really touched by all the surprises. and agn you all created more memories for me... making me dread the last training more and more. i really don't want it to end so fast. why must good things come to an end ? its just not fair. i always look forward to saturdays but somehow as each saturday passes, im starting to hate it. its just so.... complicated. mixed emotions and feelings just comes in. but i really want to thank you all for teaching me so much and giving me so much memories that really cant be replaced. my gratitude cant nv be explained in words and i just cant find the right words to use. so all i can say is Thank You once agn. you have indeed made a differences in my life=)

given by r.preethi !

by jes jes !

by chye keong sir !

by jun jie SIR !

by wei yang !

by joanne ma'am=)

there is still more pics to come !!! so look forward to the pictures taken in yangzhe pri !

im starting to miss them...

2009-05-31T22:28:00.000+08:00

went for BCLS today, went alone coz jia min got change to another date and mards overslept. but i guess its good to go somewhere far, alone, once in awhile. coz i will usually allow my mind to wander about. reflect about any stuff that came to my mind.
the first thing that went thru my mind was NDP ! haizz... life is full of regrets i guess... i really regretted not signing up as committed instructor. i really hope to stay and support them till aug 9th and then do the last great show on that day. i nv expect myself to enjoy it so much, its like a EVERY SATURDAY commitment but somehow, as time past, it really feels weird not doing ndp on sat. from the very first training we had at evergreen sec, to now at nee soon camp and soon to marina bay. i felt that i have "grown", be it in experience or the bond we shared. unknowingly, saturday had become my favourite day and a day that i always look forward to. thinking back, the contingent has come up with alot of nicky sir's cheer, nicky sir's clap etc etc. super funny ! hahs !
back to ytd, i had the BEST dinner ! the food was nice, the atmosphere was also good ! had some kinda of farewell dinner aft ndp. freaking funny can !!! LOLS ! but end quite late lah. reach home ard 12 plus ? and slept at 1plus. so im very very tired now... off to sleep soon...
forgot to add...
nxt trg DI : MS WAN CIN LEE =)

some cute email my cousin send to me =)

2009-05-28T00:36:00.000+08:00

something nice to all my frens out there ! to anyone who reads my blog too ! =)

Linkamania 09 !

2009-05-25T23:00:00.000+08:00

went for LINKAMANIA last sat ! played with kids the whole day ! lost my beautiful voice by the end of the day=(, but overall, it was enjoyable ! kids are cute !!! BUT very mischievous ! hahs ! the theme was "under the sea" my group name is STINGRAY ! well let the pics do the talking then=)

crab's mascot (jamie's group) so handsome right ?

Stingray ! (my group)

i seriously forgot when was these taken... hmm...

EUGENE ! so serious siaz !

when we just reach campsite !

group mentors' meeting

from stingray ! i dun rmb his name but i call him LOYALTY !

(from left to right) mardhiyah, jamie, jia min, me, chye kiong sir

oh no ! i forgot this cute little boy's name ! shall go find out=D

so cuteee !!! her name is Sarah ! from my group !

10/09 !

Lastly, this unglam pic taken by CK sir !

Last week training

2009-05-18T16:43:00.000+08:00

shall update about NDP... last sat i had NDP training, mayb its because of the 2 weeks break we had, that everyone miss training so much ? hahs ! coz alot alot of emotions were seen in that training. there were happy incidents, funny, angry etc etc. but mostly were funny. even from the saf side. hahs !

laughter begins early in the morning even before NDP starts. you know it ! then cadets started coming in, getting ready to go nee soon camp. the DI for that day was Peiling. she was pretty stressed but yeah everything went well. for every training we will have a instructors' Briefing before leaving HQ. but apparently this week we had instructors' Debrief before leaving. LOL ! nicky sir made a joke: peiling, we have debrief now then all instructors go home and then you bring them to nee soon camp alone. LOL ! during the briefing we were talking about something(i really cant rmb). then i accidentally blurt out something and everyone laughed ! in my head was : IM SO DEAD ! LOL ! okok too much laughter for an early morning.

board the bus went to nee soon camp. reached, BUT we came to a wrong gate ! oh no ! so we couldn't enter. the parade marshal following us was freaking angry ! we were the first bus and the other 2 buses followed us into the wrong gate. he dialled some number and started talking, his face turn black with every minute on the phone. he passed the phone to the bus uncle and finally they all realise that wrong info had been passed to the uncle. furiously he walked down the bus, to the 2nd bus. JJ sir heard him talk loudly to the phone : then ni yao wo zhen yang ?! you bu shi wo de cuo ! so we were like okay, no problem, relax relax. so yep, in the end we all made a U-turn and got to the right gate.

then someone called the marshal in our bus coz they wanted to take a video our the cadets cheering on bus. i overheard the convo and saw the video cam guy running to and fro looking for our bus. kinda funny. finally he found us and came on the bus. meanwhile JJ sir and I was negotiating with the marshal on letting us go down first coz we dun wan to be in the video ! he keep saying no lah no lah, cannot lah. but in the end we managed to escape down.
fast forward a bit. btw, i was doing fa duty for that training. and lotsa weird yet funny things happen ! lols ! the weird army medic guy who told us: red cross ! bu yao li kai wo men ! omg ! that scene was freakingly funny ! i stun there and gave the weird face lah ! recalling it made me rofl ! hahs ! and there was this weird ..... ok i shall keep this as an inside joke. then parade stop for awhile cause of the weather, so we just sat at the MPH cheering.

after awhile, training resumed then another inside joke. this is really really inside. omg ! nicky sir keep making fun lah ! ended at 5plus, almost 6 ? went back to HQ and celebrated birthdays ! hahs ! had great fun. had cake and food ! and played a very very very very exciting game. lots and lots of laughter man ! wait till the video is up first ! hahs ! didnt go home aft we leave HQ, we went to PS and talk. home-d at 11plus near 12. half dead by then.

there were a few more angry incidents but i shall not spoil the mood. overall, training was great !=D looking forward to the next training !

accepted.

2009-05-11T18:39:00.000+08:00

ok, im going SIM. confirm. well, not much of feelings to share. school starting in 6th july. in the mean time, i shall play hard ! and mayb do some preparations lah=)

I Don't Want To Miss A Thing By Aerosmith

2009-05-08T21:10:00.000+08:00

something random agn=)

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Lying close to you feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together
And I just wanna stay with you
In this moment forever, forever and ever

I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

I don't wanna miss one smile
I don't wanna miss one kiss
Well, I just wanna be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just wanna hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time

World Youth Day 2008 - Sydney !

2009-05-07T15:05:00.000+08:00

was thinking about what vera mention on sunday. she ask me, "eh wan go WYD 2011 ? sydney so fun ! i wan to go agn in 2011." hahs ! i also want to go ! but no money arh. so i was browsing thru some pictures we took in australia. it was really funnnnnnnn !!!!!!!!! but thing was that we are all parents-free for 10 days in australia. hahs ! no restrictions in all the things we do ! hahs ! play like mad, dance like mad and not sleeping early during the meeting with pope. hahs ! if only i've got a video cam... then i can video everything that happen. because memory somehow will fade off as we grow old...

slacking on weekend

2009-05-04T16:06:00.000+08:00

its been a great weekend ! finally slack at home ! no ndp last sat, so slept till 10 am then woke up to msg jia min. we went to collect our PHONES ! woohoo ! finally got it back ! hahs ! have been visiting the S.E service centre lor ! as if like it's a shopping. going there ever so frequently. first to accompany jia min to service her phone, then to service my phone and then back to collect our phone. but im still going back there, to acc jia min collect her sis phone. hahs ! i think the pple thr see us till sian aldy. then went to mit my mom and she finally bought me the watch ! she owe me from sec 2 till now. like finally. hahs ! then slack at home for some time and off i go for Eucharist. hmm nothing much aldy. Guess whats sony ericsson's chinese name ? i think is damn funny and weird lah !

so sunday went for RCIY and they were talking about stem cell, blood cord etc etc. aft RCIY, went with vera and nicole to eat. hahs ! now i noe where is the nice place vera has been talking about but i shall not reveal ! coz aaron and victoria still do not noe ! at least vera still can surprise them next time. so talk alot on the trip there. was reminiscing all the convivences we had. hahs ! and vera suddenly said, eh must go sentosa ! but must have julian bona and moses too. hahs ! still rmb bona asking julian: eh what's incoherent ? then we all laughed our heads off ! and and... he ask moses: got such word(influential) arh ? joker of all times man ! wonder if he had went to brush up his english... its been long since i had a group pic with them. really gotta mit up soon. hopefully we can go out nxt sat !=) caught this beautiful scenary... the sky is purple and blueeee !

surprise !

2009-04-29T23:09:00.000+08:00

ytd i went for word agn. but this time i grab aaron and vera along cause we celebrated victoria's birthday ! we went over to her house aft word by cab coz we tot that we will be late ! apparently we waited till 10.15 then she reach home. she damn shock lor ! and she cant get over the fact that we lied to her ! damn funny ! when the room was filled with silence.... she will go : wahlao ! ni men pian wo !(wahlao ! you all lie to me !) hahs ! then we keep teasing her about it. joke lor ! hahs ! so we end up talking and playing till very late and slept at her house ! anyway ytd's theme was woman. learn quite abit from vanessa's general intro. but the gospel is one that touched me. its about 10 bridegrooms who was waiting for the arrival of the groom. and it is telling us to be prepared for the arrival of the messiah. it made of think of what i have learnt in RCIY. i realize that by learning all the commandments and understanding it fully, it is preparing me for his arrival. so that i wont have to panic and can be all ready when i have to go. anyway took lots of pic ytd ! will upload nxt tym !

back !

2009-04-26T23:50:00.000+08:00

hello pple ! very very long nv blog ! okok.. shall update a little on my weekend. had a terrible friday night ! my parents werent at home. they went for retreat. then i felt sick ! but not serious kind lah. just a very very bad headache that woke me up many times in the night. finally i gave up and took panadole with a cup of milo(cant take panadole with empty tummy !) then it got worse ! felt like vomiting ! so nauseous and was sweating like mad but my parents were not home and i dun wan disturb my brother coz he needs to work on sat morning. so i prayed and prayed, and eventually feel asleep. woke up in the morning then had diahorrea=( then make my way to HQ. felt very weak and wanted to excuse myself from ndp but im worried there might not be enough pple so just prayed hard and went ahead. and i was okay ! managed to survive ! yeah yeah ! and i went church too ! hahs ! ok so now im so freaking tired. oh ya ! i rmb something i want to share ! went for word on tues, then the general intro was good. mayb it touches me. thats why... the theme was power and somehow, this was what caught my attention: the opposite of power is weakness. to me, the meaning of power is satisfaction. im never satisfied with anything. i tend to go on searching for more and more until i fall terribly. but he will pick me up and made me realize that only thru him, i can be satisfied. but then i was not convinced, aft i have recovered, i will move away from him agn. and the cycle keeps repeating. i realized im nobody without him. to be put it in a uglier way, im just a weakling. though it may seems like im determine to go back to the comm but i duno how long it will last and the cycle might just repeats. so i really hope that i can try to keep his day holy, to go church at least once a week...

going back

2009-04-20T18:26:00.000+08:00

decided... im going back. back to comm. hopefully i can keep my promise. i guess i need to balance out my life. seriously. and i guess thats my weakness. i nv know how to keep a balance. and the consequences are bad=(

Easter=)

2009-04-14T23:11:00.000+08:00

hmm... haven been updating for a few days ? okok, i shall start with my busy weekends. friday was Good Friday. went for st francis chinese mass then went jp to find Easter Vigil clothes. so last minute ! coz i had been really really busy. but i guess im bad. coz i actually had no time for God. haiz. but i really tried to give my time to God. at least for the holy week. i think it is really holy for me coz i had been to church almost everyday.

tues-penitential
wed-Easter announcement
thurs-home
fri-good friday mass
sat-Easter Vigil
sun-Easter dinner

see ! but i just im only "part time" of catholic ? thats what i have conclude myself as when i heard a priest did his homily. but anyway Easter Vigil with Neo-cat was great ! honestly i didnt want to go coz i had to rush back from NDP and then go for Easter. it was really tiring for me and i was fasting from lunch and dinner. totally worn out and had a bad headache when i reached home. but im glad God brought me there. and it really feel great to be in the familiar surrounding, talk and catching up with my frens. and it definitely feels greater to hear the familiar guitar and drum sounds. and of course the familiar songs. but this yr's Easter is kinda weird without my dad ard. he was needed at work(night shift). haiz. but anyway regretted not dancing in the ending song. cyprian lah ! tsk ! if he really go, i would join him ! hahs ! no luh, provided vera join me=) anyway took quite a few photos.

Easter dinner

vera me aaron (im the twin tower bridge lor ! WTH !)

Easter Vigil

vera me victoria ( AGN ! me the bridge !)

me vera=)

see lah ! the pics so blur ! ask vera use my 3.2pixels phone dun wan ! hahs ! joking lah ! yeah i know your hp is great ! nice hp coz got front camera. blah blah blah ! *sobs* i suddenly miss them so much=( I WANT OUTING !!!!!!!!! like last time. we keep going out. see each other till like..... hahs ! i guess i still prefering going sentosa with you all coz we really talk out hearts out there. somehow going there with others doesnt feel right and isnt as fun. i guess its because we will always feel excited about going out with each other=) and of course our fav hangout ! the room ! and all the stupid dirty jokes will come out. what aaron wants to book room with P...A lah and all sorts of nonsense ! hahs ! haiz enough about them. make me emo only=( now i should be thinking of who can i bring to the talk for new comm ? die die ! and im worried that vera might need to go to the new comm ! ohno ! then will we be separated ? or will we all go tog ?=( hmm...

2009-04-09T22:30:00.001+08:00

today i witness an event. though its not very grand but it affected me. its the JWSS passing out parade. to my dearest NCOs that are passing out, all the best and good luck in everything you do. MUST study hor ! Os and Ns coming aldy ! times certainly past fast. its as if everything was just yesterday. and i watch this advertisement that really shows how i felt today. it was all the imperfections we saw together that made the perfections we felt in our heart. because of the imperfections we see, we joked and made fun of it tog, creating perfect memories for us. the memories whereby we will rmb for life. and in a way, it perfected all the little lives of ours. but im really gonna missed all these times. esp with my love R.preethi ! my beloved ! too bad for RAH... preethi is mine !=) hahs ! hope that you guys will come back once in awhile to see the unit=)

finally=)

2009-04-02T22:32:00.000+08:00

today was spent with jason and mards babe. well, we finished the video ! woohoo ! anyway loads of crap done today. well, obviously ! got me and mards babe leh ! if there were no crap today, i guess the sky will fall. hahs ! but seriously WE ARE DONE WITH THE VIDEO ! ~happy~ anyway we had 3 months plus to do but we extended the time to 3 months plus and 2 weeks. manage to finish on time !=) but i sure will not volunteer nxt yr. really. hahs ! aft we finish, we went to take some photos. at swimming pool. a children's one though.

thanks for waking me up. finally im awake. came to my senses. gone were the days we used to spent together. i refused to admit at first but today i finally realize, i was the only stupid fool who believes that all could be saved and everything will change if i tried to pull us back together. mayb what she said is true. we arent exactly close to each other and in fact we dont even understand each other. we are just close coz we have the same thinking and enjoy each other's company. but we never really open our hearts to one another thus it doesnt matter if we still hang out tog. but i sincerely wish you guys all the best.

2009-03-31T00:03:00.000+08:00

too many doubts too confused. but nvm. cant be bothered anyway. will just take a step at a time. and i really dun understand ! whats there to show off about ? really. talking like you are gonna stay for another 10 yrs ! what exactly are you trying to do ? we can continue without you. you wont create such a great impact. serious. but touch your heart and ask. for what, you wan to do these ? purpose ? motive ? lame luh ! serious ! wake up your idea can ? real irritated !

went to mards blog and saw the video ! OMG ! Its all about you ! so special ! that song was sang to us(me mards jia min and ms oh) and dedicated to us from JWSS NCC FES. and it made me and jia min cry when they sang it=( i wasnt about to cry coz its outside skl ! but when i saw the board they made for me and the messages they wrote, i was like... one thing true about the lyrics is that you guys made my lfe worth while=)

JWSS has turn me to what i am today so im paying back, giving back in every way i could. so first priority is JWSS. i've made up my mind.=) at least for the time being im gonna be there and do what i can. anyway below is the lyrics... rmb ! its our song !

It's all about you (it's about you)

It's all about you baby (it's all about)

It's all about you (it's about you)

It's all about you

Verse 1:

Yesterday you asked me something I thought you knew

So I told you with a smile, it's all about you

Then you whispered in my ear and you told me too

Said you'd make my life worthwhile, it's all about you

Chorus:

And I would answer all your wishes

If you ask me to

But if you deny me one of your kisses

Don't know what I'd do

So hold me close and say three words like you used to do

Dancing on the kitchen tiles, it's all about you, yeah~

(Guitar solo)

Chorus:

And I would answer all your wishes

If you ask me to

But if you deny me one of your kisses

Don't know what I'd do

So hold me close and say three words like you used to do

Dancing on the kitchen tiles

Yes you make my life worthwhile

So I told you with a smile

It's all about you

It's all about you (it's about you)

It's all about you baby (it's all about)

It's all about you (it's about you)

It's all about you baby (it's all about)

It's all about you~

for JWSS FES !

2009-03-29T15:29:00.000+08:00

guys ! though we didnt reach our goal, but i know you guys did your best. thats the best performance i've seen from you guys. really. saktivel didnt make any mistakes. and all the mistakes you guys made were so minor. i really didnt spot them till your admitted. and muz, you did very very well. when you reported in, you greeted the sgt major, i heard all the other skl go wow. really... serious... i swear... and when you reported in, you made me smile. thats the best reporting in i've ever seen from you. you know whats the best part ? it was when you guys did the windmill and fall, the banging was damn solid ! you guys did it ! all the practice we had was worth ! ridhwan ! you made us proud ! when you were slow marching, my heart was racing like mad. i keep praying and praying for you to pop. and you pop ! it was so perfect ! a wonderful ending to the perfect show. though we didnt reach our goal, but rmb guys you are the top few in the whole of singapore. it doesnt matter if you guys reach your goal, it is the process and the effort you put in that counts=) and muz ! you made me cry siaz. was suppose to comfort you in the bus but saw you cried so badly, i can feel how you felt there and then. couldnt control the sudden sadness and cried with you. it really wasnt your fault. no matter what it is, we will always support you. rmb the promise !=)

last training

2009-03-26T22:12:00.000+08:00

today had my last training with NCC FES. thanks alot guys ! you really made my life worth while. made me feel i hadnt made the wrong choice of going back ! all about you will be our song from now on. I AM A SELFISH PERSON OKAY ? so this is OUR song=) hahs ! no sharing hor ! hahs ! here are some photos for you to grab=) but im keeping some coz I AM SELFISH ! cant share !

His name is Fareez. Fahmi's brother.
Ridzuan(Noisiest guy)

Fav pic (im not so selfish can ?)

us at last training.

us with their gifts=) *touched*

somtimes im really wondering... where were those days that we used to listen to each other and then talk things out. its seems harder and harder as days goes by. you seem to bring me down always. really. not really down as in down down but in terms of being happy. my happiness will forever be swayed by you. i dont know why. whenever im happy you forever seems to be bringing me down. making me sad by the things you do or even just by your mood. for all you know i might be leaving cause of you. serious. i dun wan to spoil the friendship we have, thus the best way might be for me to leave. at least in that way, we will still be going out ogether calling each other to talk our hearts out. we will nv break off the friendship we built. i was trying to explain things in a nice way. just for your info, we wanted to use these songs coz we had an idea of wha to do with the pics in these songs and how to related the songs to the pics. i was trying to tell you that. i got no problems with changeing songs. but its just that we aldy decide on the first meeting. you can check the minutes of meeting if you want to.

to my fren !

2009-03-24T00:57:00.000+08:00

this is jia min. i promise to post this cause i really want to thank her alot alot. i really duno how to express the gratitude i have for her. she is the only one that will go all out for a fren.

she accompany me to queensway to look for black shoes
she folo me to CPF board to settle some stuff
she is involve in speech day with me
she listens to my craps
she talks cock with me
she laughs at my lameness
we talk about everything under the sun
she knows my deepest secret(shhh..!)(i knows hers too)
she is the only one that lends me her ear unconditionally
she is thr when i emo
she is thr when im tired
she gives me suggestion abt everything(including relationships)
we influence each other like mad
she waits for me to comb my bad hair(though she complains too)[not that im vain but i had bad hair day=( ]
we are often late in meeting pple
we share videos(not dirty videos luh)
we both often sleep late
we both have 1 ex boyfriend

thanks girl for all the stuff i mention ! was feeling kinda low today. aft i reach skl for speech day training, i started to feel low. couldnt really concentrate on NCC training aft speech day. duno why. recently i keep feeling down. like that day aft arts fest, when i was going home and on the bus. i suddenly just kept so quiet. dun wan to talk or anything. just wan to sit and emo. hahs ! weird me ! mood swing ? i rarely have that leh ! anyway thats all luh=) this post suppose to dedicate to JIA MIN !

tour...

2009-03-22T17:37:00.000+08:00

went out with them on friday. went to eat tulang at beach road, then head down to marina barage but we didnt reach. lots of photos along the way. then someone came up with the joke about us going around the world(coz of all the things we saw) and ended up going ard singapore in a day ! one day singapore tour !

floating platorm.

gay boys !

welcome to hong kong !

end of friday.
saturday was damn tiring but i have learn to look on the positive side. woke up damn early to mit the rest and go down for ART FEST ! hahs ! and i was the FIRST to reach jp. so waited awhile for the rest. attire for art fest: BLACK BLACK BLACK. then reach bishan and waited for WEI YANG. met alot of others at bishan too=) went down to RI with damn hell lots of pple. it was very tiring being the marshal but i have to admit, i learn quite a bit. like learn how to communicate with cadets, and how to handle links. they are cute ! giving them instructions the proper way and stuff. best part was i get to throw balloons ! but all in all, it was okay ! nxt yr i will want to join agn ! then went for dinner and HOME ! damn tired ! so went online to check my blog and i saw AFIF tag. well, curiosity kills the cat, i totally agree with that phrase. went over and saw IT. i didnt cry, but tears just flow out automatically. im like WTH ! late in the night see this kind of thing. but THANKS AFIF ! you made my life brighter ! really hope that we will not lose contact aft 28 mar !

PS: im trying to control. i dont want to fall in.

emo-ing

2009-03-18T23:38:00.000+08:00

i just realize something. nxt sat is 28 march. one more week left for me to hang out with them ? is like i suddenly duno what to do from monday to thurs. usually i will go back skl to help them. and its so weird not going to help them. like something is missing. thinking abt the days aft 28 march makes me emo. i suddenly got this thinking : will we still be as close ? joking and crapping ard like we have known each other for 10 thousand yrs. will we turn out to be another hi bye friends ? i really hope not. and you know what ? that day they sang All About You by Mcfly. OMG ! im so shock. make all my old memories flood back in my mind. something quite true abt the lyrics though. YES ! YOU'VE MADE MY LIFE WORTHWHILE ! they certainly did make my life worthwhile. i rmb someone ever told me. Life is like a MRT ride. there will be many stops, at each stop you will mit all sorts of pple and get all sorts of memory; be it bad or good. some will even make you feel you cant bear to part with. but you still have to move on. cause there are still many stops ahead of you. and no matter which stop you alight at, you cant be there forever. even if you are not moving, the pple at that stop will move too. but i really wan to thank all of you. really. thanks for being part of my life. making me feel that i had made the right choice of going back. if i hadn't gone back, then i guess i would had nv met you guys. and thanks for keeping me occupied and making me see the direction im heading towards can be a rich and fulfilling one. Thanks alot !

back from camp !

2009-03-17T14:51:00.000+08:00

im still feeling dead and tired. and great news, my nose ran off too. they are taking MC from me. hopefully MC only 1-2 days. haiz. anyway had been in rain for 2 days. sun and ytd. coz we went out of skl for some activity during camp and it RAINED ! then some didnt bring poncho so had to sacrifice. but the rain was scary. it blew 2 trees off the ground. was feaking tired aft camp. slept from ytd 8.30pm till this morning 11am ! woohoo ! but im still tired. coz i didnt have at least 10 hrs of sleep per day from friday till monday ! and my bad backache seems to be getting worse. hurt when i sit, hurt when i stand even when i lie down doesnt work. anything i do doesnt help at all. have done X-ray before but everything is alright leh. mayb i should consult specialist like what my brother recommended. shall see how. anyway this sat is ARTS FEST FINALS ! ok im excited ! and hopefully friday im going out ! guess with who ?=D hahas ! this week will be my resting time !

2009-03-12T00:25:00.000+08:00

sorry guys ! couldn't be with you all today ! but hope that you all got learn the new step ! anyway shall make up to you all tml ! tml got FDS agn ! hahas ! anyway HIDAYAT step on ME today ! ok ! i know you apologize. apology accepted=) and AFIF, you still owe me milk ! ahahahs ! well the girls are also ok today, the drills a bit of problem but hopefully i can help ! made them see their own mistakes and talk nicely to them. great start i guess. but worse come to worse gotta lecture them. sianed~ not looking forward to the camp... thinking of going on day 1 evening. dun wan to be there on pre camp. just tired coz im gonna have a long saturday. haiz... still thinking of whether to go on pre camp...

PS: your reasons are abit too vague. if you got a very strong point, i dont mind the tone you used. but i think there are loopholes in your reasons. so i still bu gan xin.

mixed feelings....

2009-03-11T13:44:00.000+08:00

WooHoo ! later having NCC and Speech day training ! And i have a few new movements for them to add in !!!!!!!!!! yeah !!!!!!! damn excited !!!! *super high*

but on the other hand, i feel that its kinda sucky abt it (not NCC and Speech Day). its like more of an obligation now ?! lame lah ! its crap ! i dun even have the rights to choose ? isn't it suppose to be more of freewill ? being in there means i cannot do what i want ! please ! from the start we dun even noe how to choose ? when we ask, all the ans we get is not relevant ? why cant you just tel us ? let us all have a clearer picture. what's there to hide anyway ?

gtg now ! GOING TO SKL !!!!!!!!

congratulations guys !

2009-03-08T00:08:00.000+08:00

they won ! they did it ! OMG ! sorry i couldn't be there to witness the event ! so now must work harder ! 2 more weeks to finals ! i believe you all can do it ! you had shown me the miracle ! i know you all will show it agn ! and i will surely be there to witness it happen ! no matter what i will be there !
suddenly i feel i only have 70% of fuel left to keep the fire burning. i dont know how long the 70% will last or whether it will increase or decrease. but when it reaches 0%, i guess i will leave...

Disappointment, Lost ? just feeling down

2009-03-07T00:50:00.000+08:00

another sleepless night ? i guess so... but tml got NDP ! so die oso must sleep. had been a long week with so many happenings. down to school almost everyday to help NCC with their FDS. actually all i wanted and all my intention was to gain back the lost connections between the UGs. my thinking is when you are out there in your own UG competition, pple recognize you by the school you come from, not the UG you come from. and its really nice to have someone there from your skl supporting you in any events. when we have our competition, they help us too, isn't it ? i believe that its my skl that nurture me into what i am today. no matter what, without the existence of the school, there will be no CCAs. its good to be bonded and gel to your own CCAs but dun forget that it is the school that allows this to happen too. now i really thinking, A or B ? i put in so much effort, i just want to see them in their final show. really want to. its like bringing a child up and finally getting to see him graduate from University. its not because its an eye opener for me but more to the bond we build, the friendship we had, the crappiness we shared and the ideas we suggested to form up the whole drill. it is support we had on one another that make this a sucess. though the results are unpredictable but its the process that matter. the times we shared was short but long enough for me to remember for life. i strongly believe its by fated we meet. cause there are too many IFs in this world. IF there was no competition, IF you all had the drills done up, IF IF IF... just too many so i choose to believe in fate. but you guys certainly inspired me. im still learning and i certainly learnt alot from you guys ! thanks ! if i cant be there physically, rmb i wil still be supporting you all ! im still pondering pondering pondering.....

NCC all the way ~

2009-03-04T01:18:00.000+08:00

haha ! went back to school today agn ! to train the NCC guys ! cannot use boys lorz ! today kena SUAN by them when i accidentally address one of them as boy~ lols ! anyway starting from wed i like be a monster !!!! but i dun think i can ever be a monster to the NCC guys coz they are really jokers ! guys, just in case you didn't know, when you all are serious and doing it properly, you guys can do it ! just that your moves aren't sharp enough. can train de ! Good luck for your competition ! think i couldn't be there=( afif ! drink more susu ! then wont blur ! be more like crab ! good example luh !=)

thoughts...

2009-03-02T22:13:00.000+08:00

today i went down to help NCC with their FDS (free style drills). they really can make you laugh, and is really laugh your hearts out ! really really funny ! cute lahz ! mayb thats their special point=) anyway its a great experience to start a week, at least i will be looking forward to everyday of this week. it makes me think back at the times when i was a NCO. working frequently with NCC and hoping to that our camp might fall on the same day. those were the days i wanted to be NCC CLT. but i was told that even if im a CLT, most prob i wont get posted back to JWSS coz my skl is NCC boys ! saded ! so i drop the idea. just wondering..how come we got so close to NCC when i was NCO, or should i say that for my yrs as an NCO all the UGs were kinda close, like one family. mayb its coz all the leaders in the UGs are all my friends. we were all good friends in class and mayb the bond we had in class is brought into our individual UGs. its nice to know that no matter what happens, there are other UGs supporting you always=) hope the bridge we build will nv be broken ! anyway haven been blogging for long coz for every event that i want to blog and every pic i wan to upload, its aldy up in someone's blog.(Jia Min, Mards etc.) so yeah nothing much to talk abt ! just that i LOVE saturdays ! coz of NDP'09 ! haha ! anyway i have been really thinking alot in this week. almost every night i couldn't sleep. rolling here and there trying to find a most comfortable spot but thoughts keep running in my head. argh ! went for lent announcement and something really struck me.. its like an ans to all my "no-ans-questions". suddenly saw a light out of nowhere.. mayb its good to quietly sit and listen once in awhile coz the results are really unexpected. though i still have alot of questions and thoughts but it really sums up everything, a good way to end a week i guess. oh ya ! this is what struck me : we are forever asking God to change this change that, change my parents, change my wife/husband, change my children. forever not satisfied! the first thought that came to my mind was : why are we so selfish ? why doesn't anyone ask God to change him or herself to accept his parents, husbands/wife, children ? i guess it coz of human nature ? that we are all too proud ? its really hard to put down our pride and humble ourselves totally to ask God to change ourselves to accept. instead we are forever hoping that every single thing will go in our way. a little mistakes is also unacceptable. but do we realize that the world doesn't revolve ard us only ? mayb some of you think that i nv ever thought that the world revolve ard me only. but wait, think, have you complained abt anything and just hope that everything will go in your way. i believe everyone of us have this thinking before. mayb we are even too proud to admit, or too afraid to lose. well im like that, but im trying hard to ask God to allow me to accept everything instead of to change my surroundings. sometimes i like going to church coz it makes me think abt my character. makes me reflect alot=) hopefully im changing for the better !

PS: sometimes i wonder, isit the world we are living in that makes us what we are now ? the surroundings might be the main factor and it might be the one with the greatest impact, that turns us all into selfish & proud people. even if we seemed to be selfless, that might just be a mask we put on, so that we could achieve something. but once its remove, the ugliest side of man may prevails.

for Qx sir !

2009-02-19T23:04:00.001+08:00

envelope of the letters !

did you manage to figure out this puzzle ?

if im not wrong, there are two puzzles for you to figure out. sir ! you got cry ? haha ! just to let you know, surprises is always ard the corner ! actually we all wanted to dedicate songs for you. i think jia min wrote in her letter the song she want to dedicate for you right ? haha ! for me its simpler, but i couldnt write in my letter coz i was scolded by them !=( its the song graduation that i wan to dedicate. so you must play the song and re-read my letter. then will have diff feel de. if dun have the song go download ! oops ! pretend i nv say that. hahs ! ok lahz ! all the best to you ! good luck ! must have gathering when you come back yeah ?

2009-02-16T17:34:00.000+08:00

I was browsing through the songs in my playlist and this song caught my attention. Pretty meaningful.

Love Me by Colin Raye

I read a note my Grandma wrote back in 1923
Grandpa kept it in his coat, and he showed it once to me
He said, "Boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago,
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none, but I love your Grandma so.

We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together
Get married in the first town we came to and live forever
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet instead
I found this letter, and this is what it said :

"If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be

But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Til I see you again

I'll be loving you
Love, Me."

I read those words just hours before my Grandma passed away
In the doorway of the church where me and Grandpa stopped to pray
I know I've never seen him cry in all my fifteen years
But as he said these words to her, his eyes fill up with tears

"If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be

But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Til I see you again

I'll be loving you
Love, Me."

for my beloved friend

2009-02-15T16:37:00.000+08:00

this guy is my best friend & closest friend ever. and i really miss him alot alot alot. i only know him when im in sec 3. i was in the same class as him. but i didn really talk to him much. mayb its because we were same diff class when we were sec 1 and 2. i only know his existence and i hope he knows mine too when we were in sec 3. mayb God made this arrangement for the both of us to sit nxt to each other in sec 4. my last yr in JWSS. i think God sent me an angel in my last yr to help me survive thru my sec 4.i had too many things on hand; my studies, CCAs etc.but he was always there to listen. and help when he thinks it is right for him to step in. he never fails to keep the smile on my face and i hope i made him smile too. well, i also became his listening ear too. listening and lending my advice to him just like how he does to me. but we were soon separate as teachers complain that the whole class talk to much with everyone sitting next to one another. so we had to sit one by one. but it was okay coz the friendship we build can survive thru this ordeal. distance doesn't break our freindship. however, i haven been contacting him for quite some time. until recently he talk to me on msn. and i realize i must put in effort to maintain this friendship. coz i never want to lose you my friend. hope that even when we see each other 10 yrs down the road, we will still be as friend as possible and not like just saying hi or bye because our friendship certainly past that level. Hairul! just wana let you noe you are never forgotten !=)i hope to go SP and find you ! then we can do some catching up !

happenings !

2009-02-15T15:42:00.000+08:00

hmmm... was quite busy for the past few weeks. so i didn have time to blog. so i shall update two posts today ! went to play bball with JJ, Calvin, Zhi qian, celeste, keith and jia min some weeks ago. then we prank JJ ! see the pic below =)

i shall not further elaborate on this.
CONGRATS to mards mom ! we went to visit her last week and see the new born baby !

zahid is his name !

very motherly right ? of course must motherly lahz ! or not how to become my mom ! celeste chng ! happy right ? btw my dad's name is calvin poh. hehe !

so cute right ? this is the kid my mom babysit since he was a month old. time really past fast. now he's aldy 3 yrs old and he is too talkative ! keep talking non stop and sometimes i really dun understand. mayb i should go learn the baby language ? haha ! then for this week i went down to HQ almost everyday. monday went down for lou hei ! agn with jordon sir and agn he lou till all over the table. very waste food lorz ! then tues and wed went to help jordon sir pack badges and do stock take. damn tedious ! haiz ! keep counting and counting till i "gong"

angela's collections of badges (rmb not to address her as ma'am or else fine S$1.00 !)

kevin sir's desk. see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. oh my ! he really likes turtles alot !

something interesting i saw at angela's desk. well, i guess thats all for this post !

beijing

2009-02-02T21:45:00.000+08:00

finally uploaded these pics. . phew ! but thats not all the pics i took. . please go to my friendster or facebook if you really wan to see all the pics. . coz i will die if i upload here ! anyway the trip was quite ok(but still boring). hmmm, mayb coz my expectation wasn't that high for this trip so yeah. . but at least i've had the experience of coldddddd !!!!! and of coz the famous beijing roasted duck(my favourite, yum yum) ! but i totally miss singapore then. firstly, coz of all my frens ! i miss them like mad ! secondly, the weather ! thirdly, my cousins in malaysia ! so not used to not going back to celebrate. . miss the atmosphere of CNY in kampong where i can lit my own fire crackers ! and have a close up view of live fireworks! though beijing also have live and close up view of fireworks, but the feel is not there, furthermore it reminds me of my cousins. double unhappiness=( anyway here i am, back ! and i would like to take this opportunity to thank those pple who SPAM my blog WHILE i WAS NOT home. thank you for keeping my blog alive ! thanks ! though there was a wrong conversation going on at my tag board. enjoy the pics =)

~Pulau Ubin~

2009-01-23T23:33:00.000+08:00

i went to pulau ubin ytd ! so enjoyable ! hahah ! i wish to go back there again with them ! eh... the them is jj, jia hao, wei yang, jia min, mards, zhi qian and me ! really so fun ! enjoyed myself so much ! and it made me realize something too... im very afraid to lose them all. what if one day they just MIA from VI ? erm not jia hao but the rest(include jamie celeste calvin wei ben). what if one day we all just lost contact ? im really afraid... really dun wan to lose them... im like missing them everyday... anyway i gtg... tml going beijing for 5days ! dun really wan go beijing but no choice. haiz. will blog soon...

to be continued... SFA

2009-01-23T00:02:00.000+08:00

mardhiyah suddenly got this idea of taking pictures while waiting for our turn to take prac test.

this is what we did=)

so cool right ? LOL ! really damn funny ! trying to entertain one another ! anyway, here's the good news : we all made it ! we all passed STANDARD FIRST AID ! yeah ! woohoo ! WE ALL CAN PASS OUT TOGETHER AS A BATCH ! WE CAN ALL BE PRESENT IN THE PARADE TO COLLECT OUR RANKS TOGETHER ! hopefully i can too...

SFA

2009-01-21T23:53:00.000+08:00

phew ! had a very hectic week ! first was sat and sun fully pack with RC events then was monday to wednesday, busy with Standard First Aid Lesson. but it was interesting... hehehe... with all the photos im gonna upload... wakaka !!! i guess this is what you will do when you are bored ! and i mean damn bored !

this is jia min's free lunch ! go ask her why !

know why i took this pic ? coz jun jie was the last to finish ! we were all waiting for him ! but he is still happily talking away while eating.

ah beng face !

damn bored ! then JJ and wei yang started to "gay" around.

updates !

2009-01-19T23:44:00.000+08:00

woohoo ! this weekend was great fun ! though i was sick =( but i survived thru YOSS and Project RICE ! and i nv regretted going ! met a great lady, Ms Angela ( can't call her ma'am, will fine $1 !) two great drivers (i don't know their name! i will find out!) at YOSS. well, i was appointed the post of ursher and "breakout" team, but i really had a great time urshering YOs into the hall with celeste(ah tut) and jia min (my BFF also the ah unbalanced). though pple might tot urshering is so boring and no fun, but with Jun Jie(my happy family), Zhi Qian (my BFF also known as ah gong) and calvin (celeste's husband) around, i think the most boring events will come alive !!!! wakaka ! great jokers ! and i didn noe Jonathan Tan can joke so much too ! too bad we couldn take pics tog =( after YOSS, we decided to stay and help out in packing of rice for the great day tml ! Project RICE ! ok wait before i begin, i will try to describe how much rice was in the classroom at GYSS. we were like 1km ( a bit exaggerating arh but it was really far) away from the classroom and we could already smell the rice. when we enter, it was like... the smell of rice rushing into your nostril, making you choke. yupp that was how it is like. but it smells nice =)anyway had great fun packing rice with Sirs and Ma'am, they were really funny; busy packing rice and entertaining one another (including me and Jia min, i really couldn stop smiling !) ok i think i better talk about sunday. fell sick on sat night and my BFF had to company me to see doc =( special thanks to jia jia and ZQ ! then they keep telling me dun go for RICE coz later my sickness gets worse but i insisted and all they could do was to ensure i take my medicine on time. i got to experience what it was like being a "bouncer". wakaka ! fake one though. we were told to stand in a single file and block out pple from taking the Rice packs as it only starts at 12pm. it isn't fair to those who obliged by the 12pm if we gave the Rice packs earlier than 12pm. so we had to be "bouncer" to stop people and ask them to wait in the shade opposite till 12pm. we attempted alot of diff plans on how to be a proper "bouncer" gang but it all fail so back to square one, plan A, that is no plan ! haha ! okok ! pics shall do the talking now =)

new yr

2009-01-11T21:53:00.000+08:00

ok ! i think i should update a bit ! lols ! anyway ytd i went back to JWSS to see the CCA display. and "shun bian" see how red cross was doing . looks like they are doing great ! saw alot of them mingling around very well with sec 1s. and they sec 1s even took part in the evac plan they had ! i went to "kaypoh" a bit and ask Mr Wong how was the recruitment. GUESS WHAT ?! we had 39 sec 1s signing up, but its not confirm. they did put the names down so hopefully they can really join ! anyway aft that went for poly open house and decide not to go church coz im really tired. then went home to surf the net, had nothing to do so i went blog hopping. and something caught my eyes that made me decide to blog... i seriously wonder why is everybody talking about moving on. is 2008 really a bad yr ? for me, i think its time for me to look back and reflect too. it also time for me to check the people ard me. to see if anyone is being forgotten. so dun talk about moving on. we should always look ard us to see if anyone is trying to catch up with our fast paces, or if anyone had stop moving to enjoy some memories shared together. isn't this important ? not always about moving and moving. life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer you get to end, the faster it goes. so why bother moving on so fast ? since it is going faster at the end. by then you will feel you have done nothing. so just slow down and look ard, for pple and scenaries. sometimes look back at the memories you had, good or bad it still teaches you something. im not saying we should not move on because life really doesn't stop at any point. but just remember to look back once in awhile. so yeah ! RMB ! its really important !=)

2009-01-02T14:49:00.000+08:00

receive a meaningful email from jia xian so i decided to upload these pics =)
Life is short
They say it takes a minute
To find a special person
An hour to appreciate them
A day to love them
But an entire life to forget them
PEOPLE ! I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU !

OA ITP !

2008-12-28T21:55:00.000+08:00

just came back from OA camp . very tired ! haha ! but it was fun ! i now understand how the bond between each batch became stronger . i understand why VIs continue to help out together as a batch and even after many many years, it is because of the friendships gained . the fun we had, the memories we create together, its more than enough to last a lifetime . i think what mards babe told me is true ! i dun rmb everyone and everything in my mind, i rmb with my heart . and every event i go, i really got to know everyone alot alot better . like this OA camp, i started crapping with jie qi, and watch to eugene act : 10/09 firedrill *open hands wide*. total crap ! should see how he does it ! damn funny ! and calvin damn qian da ! he loves imitating how charlie dance "welcome t my life" plus he will purposely add the butt shaking ! he really very very high on retreat night . keep jio-ing us to dance with him . then came our passing out ceremony (POC), i seriously nv think much abt the results until POC. but had great fun in POC too ! played a game "i say, you do" . zaidi sir was our game master. he very funny ! when he was explaining the rules, it was really funny, he went like : so this basically is I say, you do, HAHA ! then the whole room silence..... till elijah : HAHAHAHA ! then everyone burst out laughing ! but i love the family part, the whole of VIP10/09 went up and sing : i love you ! you love me..... it was then i realize, this whole lot of pple aldy left their foot print in my heart and it wont go off anymore. anyway i got my results, i can be deployed to school ! woohoo ! shall skip to campfire prep lesson . played a game "chop chop chilli chilli chop", guo zhong sir and hadi sir "dance" till so cute ! haha ! mmm... skip all the way to the last activity then. we have to carry 71 boxes of ice mountain from comman post to log. room . during VIP camp, we aldy shifted the boxes of ice mountain from our bunks level to the command post . then for this camp, we moved the boxes from command post to log. room. so i think for the nxt camp we having, we might nid to shift them to the field ? lols ! anyway we were crapping and joking when shifting the boxes . we kept passing down weird messages . then i heard Gin Yong complain : CB ! why so many messages to pass ? then i stun and we all laugh ! then that JAMIE arhz ! slacker siaz ! carry halfway then pretend to be traffic police ! slacking lorz ! make me laugh till i drop two boxes ! so all in all, everything was fine !

VIP 10/09

2008-12-22T00:04:00.000+08:00

as promise, im blogging abt VIP 10/09. but the time now is consider monday or sunday ? coz i promise to blog on sunday . haha . anyway it doesn matter . before i begin, i would like to comment on something first . c'mon girl ! you go and reflect ! do you still nid us ?! does it really bother you whether we invite you to our outings ?! you got your BOY enough aldy what ?! no mehz ?! kaobei so much abt us not inviting you for what !? would you even come ?! i tot you went on date before the announcement ?! so does it really matters if we ask ?! I SERIOUSLY DUN THINK SO ! ok ! enough aldy ! mmm... VIP 10/09... i have been complaining and really feel like dropping out ! even during the day we report, i was on the train and was so tempted to do the same for ULP, just turn back and go home . then i rmb zhi qian was like : go lahz . going to reach aldy ! so i guess i really gotta thank him ! if i just turn and walk away, i would have had the experience of the best campfire ! haha ! seriously speaking, day 1 and 2 sucks coz it was freaking tiring ! but yuan ming made me stay awake and alive . he is really damn funny ! not as in his jokes but is the things he does ! i think he doesn realize his actions are funny so it is kinda mean to make a joke out of it ? anyway i think i shall skip to the campfire part . i had never ever ever been to a campfire soo HIGH till most of the guests stand up to dance with us ! YMCA rocks ! i mean the song YMCA ! go khairul , go calvin ! the way the shake their butts arhz ! whoa ! im still waiting for pics ? why nobody sent me =( anyway ah go go sir dance till so cute ! haha ! mards fainted i think ! then shy sir oso ! he so funny and blurr ! i really cant believe shy sir is so shy ! whats so interesting about us wanting to take pics with him ? i think is he shy lorz then act act say so interesting . hahahahahaha ! then ti ti sir arhz ! damn enthu lorz ! mass dance stand beside me and i was so scare coz he moved very very fast and i like keep trying to "siam" him ! btw mass dance was so fun ! seriously can intro to JWSS ! hahahaha ! mmm... i guess thats all bahz ! looking forward to retreat ! hahahaha ! great fun !

for lumpy !

2008-12-08T23:49:00.000+08:00

我们是不是该知足, 珍惜一切就算没有拥有. dun be envious of someone else ! lols ! ok im like so weird ?! so random ? actually just wana blog abt the announcement of advent . what really struck me was the part " making a person stay away from God is not good ." as if like telling us to find a catholic boyfriend so that the realtionship wont make you stay away from church lahz . catholic boyfriend reminds me of vera ann ! hmmm, she will be showing off her A and say OH ! i've got A . he is a cathlic or soon to be one . talking abt A, he is not really that handsome lahz . better than D though . hehe . but he is not tall lorz ! bluff me ! a little taller than you only . kao ! oh ya ! RCIY at christ the king is really fun ! im quite looking forward to go but this sun i cant =( im in camp =( arghh ! gotta stop thinking abt VIP . it really brings my mood down . i will be like so damn stress up when i think abt it ! anyway im working tml . so nid to sleep aldy....

memories

2008-11-30T23:29:00.000+08:00

nothing but memories.... hope you will get the msg behind this post

counting down....

2008-11-28T23:07:00.000+08:00

sianed... nxt week damn busy ! got meeting with wong and VIP group then must settle F&B list ! the worse is no one is helping me with F&B ! is like so many F&B IC but all busy . ah nvm ! we are all busy with life . i also . so cant complain . haven been to meetings . nxt week i try my very best k ? SHIT ! camp like nearer and nearer... a bit worried ! i'll miss home ! coz its at campsite . i dun like=( anyway i looking forward to the end of camp and it will all be over ! i hope . but i think a bit impossible since we are not having all our accrediation in the camp . think we still have to go back every sat for lessons for footdrill and OA . sianzzz... so when exactly will it end ! ahhh ! im so stuck at MOI ! my mind blank siaz !=( first time so helpless in terms of red cross . i tot i will survive but.... nono ! i will survive ! *sing* i've got the red cross spirit deep in my heart, deep in my heart ! ok im so crap ! must think of future ! JWSS RCY needs us ! i can do it ! though a bit not convincing enough=( nvm... will take a step at a time...

OA camp 2008

2008-11-26T20:25:00.000+08:00

ytd had lunch at 12plus, then in the evening went to skl for Outdoor Activities camp . camp was fun ! Mr wong was very welfare to us the seniors and the NCOs . We had steamboat for dinner ! but i was aldy starving like mad coz we only start eating at 1am . and my last meal was like 12 hours ago . well nvm . cause we had good food ! and as usual Mr wong plan for a night activity . so we all woke them up at 2.45am to count sago seeds . joker right ? hahaz ! and we ended up bathing at 3 plus am ! OHMY ! the water was freezing ! arghhh ! shiver like hell brrrr ! then i tried to keep my eyes open and do some proposal but i finally gave up at 5am . my eyes help but my brain are not working . i cant seem to concentrate . anyway slept at 5am but there was some commotion going on at 5.45am so i was like~sian~ . i want sleep ! so end up sleeping at 6am . then we woke up at 7.20am . i was almost half dead ! tried to keep myself busy coz i was falling asleep . haha . in the end i didn fell asleep ! manage to survive till i reach home ! slept for 4 hours straight ! so like woohoo ! lolz ! anyway im gonna upload photos for the camp ! enjoy !=)

Fan Dear ! awww this is so sweet !

2008-11-22T23:06:00.000+08:00

i know a woman who's funny & crazy, thoughtful & caring, loving & sharing, as sweet as a baby, a great fren & sis & she is reading this message now ! AND ANYONE WHO DARES COPY ANYTHING (NOT EVEN A SINGLE WORD) FROM THESE, I WILL KILL YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS ! cause its fan dear dear send to me one =) thanks alot ! it really made my day ! oh since im aldy here, shall talk a bit abt VIP10/09 . today went for contact session, was damn tired and didn feel like going at all . have been complaining alot (totally not like me) . thought of quitting VIP . but aft i got into my group, i found that things weren't that bad . in fact things were good=) but dun worry, jm if you wan run, i will pei you=) we promise that to each other mahz=) anyway was very tired . sianzzz... wan to sleepppp..... bye !

you only want it cause its over

2008-11-22T22:40:00.000+08:00

well, i have read your letter, but didn think much abt it too . time will prove everything bahz . coz i dun wan to decide whether to forgive you just because you wrote me that . anyway i want to see if you really want to be my fren and see if you will give the aiya-i-dont-give-a-damn attitude agn . if i forgive you so easily, then there will confirm be a nxt tym ! CONFIRM ! i noe you too well ? and dont ever make promises like i swear wont have nxt tym ! i promise ! hello ! promises are meant to be KEPT ! not say say n forget ! SO DUN EVER PROMISE ANYTHING YOU CANT KEEP ! esp to me ! n i oso want to see whether you will say these : aiya i aldy said sorry and i oso write letter to her aldy ! then she dun wan forgive me, what you wan me to do ? aiya dun care lahz, dun wan fren then dun lorz, hate me then hate me lorz . OhMY ! i can aldy imagine you saying this with the irritating tone ! PLEASE ! this shows you've got no sincerity can ? You are only saying sorry for the sake of it, n obviously you wrote the letter cause you were told to ! since you didn bother, why should i waste my time to ? and mayb GOD also doesn want me to forgive you too ? cause when i was so angry with crystal and she apologize, i couldn accept it at first . but somehow julius msg me this : Take no revenge and cherish no grudges against your brother . you shall love your neighbour as yourself . izit GOD or Coincidence ? i choose to believe it is GOD . but when you gave me the letter till i read it, nobody said anything or msg me anything related . mayb it is time to see your true colours ? mayb...

Hesitation~

2008-11-19T21:17:00.000+08:00

tml is thurs, then fri, then sat ! OHMY ! Sianed ! should i go ?VIP(Volunteer Instructors Programme) VIP, haiz . mayb i dun have a choice either . cause mr wong aldy came up with all the plans for nxt yr ! cant say what it is cause it is confidential . but anyway i just got this thought . mayb im trying to run away again ! LOL ! i told mards or jiamin(or both) abt it . how can mr wong come up with so many plans . there are so many what if e.g what if i cant pass the VIP ? What if something happens and I suddenly cant go for the camp ? what if what if.... aiya there are just too many what if lahz . actually, its me lahz ! finding excuses . mayb i haven completely grow up . not ready to face up to problems and difficulties . or mayb i shld say i dun wan to go thru it again but still it is unable to face up to difficulties bahz . mmm... it is time to grow up ! but at least i dun cry my way thru cause it nv works ! okok ! gotta clear out all these ! face it once and for all ! you reap what you sow !

AM I JUST A TOOL FOR YOU ?

2008-11-18T23:42:00.001+08:00

Im damn pissed ! seriously ! i have never been so angry before ! Not even to Crystal ! So when you needed someone to talk to, when you are stress abt your problems, ESP WHEN YOU NEED HELP, you come and find me . i help you, i got fucking stress up over your problems but i crack my head to help you find solutions, to listen to you and tried to keep to the promise of being your listening ear . and this is what i got ? FUCK OFF ! we promise to listen to each other and help each other but why am i the only one doing it ? whats worse was all this started because of your girlfriend ! so when i wanted to talk to you and explain what i meant on my last last post abt the friends thingy, what did you say ? DUN BOTHER, DUN WAN TO UNDERSTAND LATER I MORE STRESS THEN WHITE HAIR COME OUT. Fuck lahz ! i have never been so vulgar before ! i only use vulgarities when im joking and not so much when im angry ! So i not stress when i help you with your problems ? So im superwoman ? with NO feelings n emotions for myself ? i cant be sad or angry ? i cant talk to you when im sad ? you cant listen ? corrections, is you DUN BOTHER to listen ! and for goodness sake, this is my FUCKING FIRST TIME trying to ask you to listen ! No point ! just get out of my life !

bad day =(

2008-11-18T04:50:00.000+08:00

woke up at 8am in the morning, but was having a damn bad headache and my forehead was feeling a little warm . took panadole and went back to sleep . and woke up at 12.30 . oh well, half a day is gone . mmm.. i wanted to blog abt this ytd but didn cause i was feeling very tired . it is abt the last two days ! was very excited on friday cause i was going to help my fren out on sat n sun ! and most importantly is that i will be working with victoria and lumpy ! haha ! anyway it was really fun ! and i seriously hope there will be a chance for me to work with them again and hopefully the rest of us can join ! vera ann, go party n nv come work with us =( Min Min nxt tym nid help call us again ! PLEASE ! =) oh ya ! i wont make this promise as im afraid that i cant keep it but i will try my very best to blog often n not let my blog die off again...=(

friends ?

2008-11-17T15:50:00.000+08:00

as promise, this is the 2nd post . however it might not be as cheerful n happy as the previous one =( well, alot happened recently in church, so much that i will take two days to finish if i go in depth . Anyway i just want to say i am not angry, just sad n kinda lost i guess . If you want to push all the blame on me as always, there is nothing i can do but most importantly THERE IS SERIOUSLY NOTHING I WANT TO DO ABT IT . You blame me for forcing you to tell out the truth, but did you ever realize why is she so F***king angry with you ? You think is because she jealous and can't accept the fact that she has lost to him ? well i tell you, she is not angry at him ! cause she aldy treated him as friend for your sake ! she accepted him ! she is so angry because YOU LIED TO HER ! she gave you so many chances to change and stop lying to her but you nv did cherish . why can't you just admitted it from the start on OCT 10 that you are together ? can you imagine what's her reaction is you waited till her last paper ? another evidence that she was angry because you lied to her was that when you msg her abt it, she congratulated you ! she also like someone else aldy ! she was happy for you n him ! but what triggered everything was when you said it started at oct 10 n you have been lying again ! btw DON'T SAY THAT YOU NV BLAME ME FOR FORCING OUT THE TRUTH ! i was clearing my hp inbox ytd n i saw the msg again ! so care to tell me what the hell you mean by the "SEE LAH" ? don't give me all the crap again ! when i confronted you abt what it meant thru msg, you told me DONT KNOW . Great ans man ! BULLSHIT ! im sad because i really lost all the confidence in all our friendship with everyone n i hate this feeling ! rmb vanessa asked you this : do you think that we will still be like this 10 yrs down the road ? i confidently said yes n you did too ! didn you realize that it is a promise ? well i seriously dont think you do . but i took it as a promise . mayb im the only fool that took it as a promise . i really dont know what to do, lost... i guess all good things must come to an end ? even if it is the most precious friendship n all the happy moments we shared ? i cant let it go cant bear to... i dont think you even BOTHER ! but why i cant be like you ! prove me wrong, prove to me you care ! not by crying and when tears dry up no actions done ! these makes your tears worth NOTHING ! n it seems like you are not sincere ! if crying can help solve all the problems in the world , i wont mind crying throughout my whole life ! face it ! take actions ! i dun wan to let it go....